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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275392">i'll be gentle</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moegan/pseuds/moegan'>moegan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Cute, Cute Ending, F/M, Fingerfucking, Friends to Lovers, Hand &amp; Finger Kink, Kinktober, Kinktober 2020, Magic Fingers, Multiple Orgasms, Soft Sugawara Koushi, Sugawara Koushi-centric, Vaginal Fingering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:27:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27275392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moegan/pseuds/moegan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara has been your best friend for years. Once he finds out you’ve never been satisfied in any of your other relationships, which he never approved of before anyway, he intends to make you feel good. Those pretty setter fingers were not meant purely for the court; Sugawara knows just how to use them to make you come undone in record timing, unlike any other man you’ve been with in the past. </p><p>-</p><p>Sugawara is nothing if not predictable.</p><p>In high school, this was his biggest downfall and most shocking asset on the volleyball court. He could trick the team on the opposite side of the net to believe him to set to Asahi, when in reality his eye was on Tanaka the whole time.</p><p>Which is why, when Sugawara makes a suggestion that night, completely unpredictable and yet predictable all the same, your jaw hangs open and your thighs tense, brushing up against one another and providing you with the slightest amount of friction until you’re slick.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sugawara Koushi &amp; Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>214</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i'll be gentle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sugawara is nothing if not predictable.</p><p>In high school, this was his biggest downfall and most shocking asset on the volleyball court. He could trick the team on the opposite side of the net to believe him to set to Asahi, when in reality his eye was on Tanaka the whole time.­</p><p>Which is why, when Sugawara makes a suggestion that night, completely unpredictable and yet predictable all the same, your jaw hangs open and your thighs tense, brushing up against one another and providing you with the slightest amount of friction until you’re slick.</p><p>“I just think that jackass didn’t deserve you,” he mutters before tipping back his wine glass. Sugawara eyes you over the rim of th      v e bottle, “I know it sucks, but it’ll be okay eventually, you know.”</p><p>You wipe at your blurry eyes – from crying or the alcohol, you don’t remember – and chuckle, downing the rest of your glass before answering him. He goes so far as to pour you another half glass as you fumble with your words, “I know, Kou. You don’t ever think <em>anyone </em>deserves me.”</p><p>“I’m your best friend!” Sugawara is defensive, eyes widening enough that you can tell despite the wine sloshing in your belly that’s obscuring your senses. He huffs haughtily, “You deserve someone who actually <em>cares </em>about you. And, for why, I’m not sure, you <em>always </em>pick assholes.”</p><p>The way you blink slowly gives you longer to admire him – tousled pale hair from his deft fingers swiping it away from his forehead in anxiousness, golden brown eyes warm and inviting, just as they’ve always been, and then that pretty little beauty mark that always draws your gaze sat sweet on his upper cheek. You reach out on impulse alone and brush your thumb over the raised mark, cupping his jaw like you’ve done since you were both little toddlers teetering around the playground together.</p><p>A chuckle bursts from your chest, your eyes squinting closed as your hand retracts from the warmth of his pinkened cheeks. Your fingertips tingle and you try to blame it on the red wine swirling in your glass as you twirl your finger. Licking your lips, you look across at him, “Well, you know, with you as an example of how a guy should treat a girl, no one else really comes close, Sugs.”</p><p>That shouldn’t make his chest twinge the way it does. It really shouldn’t.</p><p>But Sugawara is used to these tugs at his heartstrings.</p><p>Ever since you started wearing his jersey number to games, even when he wasn’t on the starting line-up, he’s felt this horrid wrenching in his chest, as if his heart were trying to escape between the slots in his rib bones. He rubs at his left pectoral on reflex alone, eyes downcast so he does not have to look into your pretty orbs that will force the truth to run from his lips like a river.</p><p>“I mean,” <em>oh <strong>god</strong> did you have to go on, the heels of his feet are already digging into the hardwood to keep him rooted in his seat</em>, “you’re so nice, Sugs. I don’t understand how you’ve put up with me for so long, honestly.”</p><p>His tongue feels like dead weight between his teeth, caught on his canines so he can’t form words. Sugawara shifts his hips and turns his attention back to his wine glass, twirling the ornate liquid with a gentle flick of his wrist. The way your eyes track the motion does not go unnoticed, but only further services to intensify the bright color of his cheeks. You lick your lips and he feels all of the heat in his body pool between his hips.</p><p>“You’re not that bad,” he supplies, barely able to choke out the words, “<em>most of the time, </em>I guess.”</p><p>The way your hand reaches to tug at your neck, fingers brushing anxiously over your spine, makes him want to reach out and reassure you that you are <em>more than okay</em> – you are a shining star, a nebula lighting in the midnight sky. Sugawara has always been enthralled with you, and now is no different; even with your bleary gaze and your overenthusiastic giggle thanks to the red wine sloshing in your system. You are nothing short of perfect, and he wishes that you’d give him the perfect gateway to show you that.</p><p>Your tongue peeks from your teeth as you lick your lips, making sure not to waste any of the wine you might not have been able to make to your mouth at first sip. Sugawara has to force his eyes to be stationary, the thought of what your tongue might be capable plaguing his thoughts like a parasite, eating away at his resolve until he may no longer have anything keeping his hands from devouring you whole.</p><p>“It is what it is,” your voice should be more dejected, you should be much more upset, but somehow, somewhere along the line, you knew this was coming, that all things must eventually combust until they are no longer a thing at all. Your shoulders shrug and you blink slowly before making eye contact with him, your irises finding the melted chocolate of his eyes, “He sucked in bed, anyway. Didn’t even know where the clit was.”</p><p>Now <em>that </em>piques Sugawara’s attention.</p><p>He tilts his head, leaning back in his chair and tilting his wine glass to his lips, “Oh really?”</p><p>Those two simple words has your lips turn loose, your eyes bugging out as you excitedly continue to foam at the mouth all of the negative things your heart has been begging you to spill about your relationship, but you felt held captive by the bindings of your dating status. Sugawara watches as you lean closer and closer, hands wavering around as you animatedly speak, practically salivating at the sentences that you’re now allowed to speak freely.</p><p>You sigh, rubbing your hands over your face, your empty wine glass now forgotten on the tabletop while you spew all of your relationship drama to the one who will lend you his ear. Somehow, your hands find Sugawara’s, wrapping deftly around his wrists, holding him closer to you to ensure that he’s listening, even though you know he always is. There is a heat centered between the two of you that you try to ignore, blaming it on anything other than the emotion swelling in your chest at the sight of him soaking in your every word, attentive as ever, proving yet again that no one can compare.</p><p>“You know,” your tone and choice of words is slightly dejected, but almost practiced, Sugawara notes, “Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever had an orgasm when I’m not the one doing all the work. Even <em>before</em> him.”</p><p>The way that Sugawara’s jaw hangs open makes your whole body burn. You try to pull your hands away, embarrassed at your admission, and shameful for placing all of these burdens onto Sugawara’s shoulders. Your teeth are chattering, not from the cold, but rather due to you attempting to spew out some semblance of a full sentence just to get the attention away from your abashed honesty, and back onto something much more benign, like the weather.</p><p>“Honey,” Sugawara’s voice calls out to you like a siren in a cove, begging you to stop wandering, to find solace in him, and him alone. He chuckles, tilting his head, “Look at me.”</p><p>As if your body is on autopilot, you turn at the gentle command, frozen otherwise, “L-Listen, Kou, I-I didn’t, I’m <em>sorry</em>, okay. I should have kept my mouth-”</p><p>Your thigh turns molten when his palm slides up your leg, thumb brushing gently across the innermost part of your skin. Sugawara seems blissfully unaware of the effect he has on you, and you’re mildly thankful for it, but on the other hand, rather resentful. You wish he could see what he does to you; how he’s completely and utterly wrecked any other relationship for you because he’s just perfect. Absolutely, utterly perfect, down to the curl of his hair and the dark mark at the top of his cheek.</p><p>“You’re telling me you’ve been dating since high school and you’ve never orgasmed without stimulating yourself?” Sugawara speaks so matter-of-factly that it makes you flush with heat from your belly branching outward. You grind your teeth together and your eyes cannot stay focused on his face when you answer, “N-No, I don’t think so. It doesn’t matter, though, a <em>lot </em>of women go unsatisfied in relationships, so I mean I’m not any-”</p><p>“Would you like to be?”</p><p>Ah, there it is.</p><p>That unpredictable predictableness from Sugawara Koushi that you should have expected, but you didn’t. And all of a sudden you are those receivers on the other side of the net, completely dumbfounded at all of the talents he has locked away inside his metaphoric toolbox.</p><p>“S-Suga,” your voice wavers too obviously to play it off as the alcohol, “I-I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>There is a confidence about him that you rarely see in Sugawara that has reared it’s beautiful head at this very moment. His pink lips upturn into a smirk and he looks down at your knees before flashing you those pretty brown eyes that promise you he’ll take care of you and your insides turn warm, lava bubbling up in your core, choking you from the inside out as it creeps up your esophagus.</p><p>His hands are too hot against your skin, burning you like an opalescent blue flame, catching the oxygen around you on fire until you’re dizzy from the lack of air, “What, did you think these fingers were only good for setting?”</p><p>If he notices the way that you choke on your own saliva, he doesn’t say anything. You reach forward and circle your fingers around his wrist again, the same as before, only this time it feels different. Unsure as to whether he is trying to get a rise out of you, or if he’s being serious, you stay quiet. Your teeth grind against one another, an audible sound in the otherwise silent kitchen. Sugawara does not waver, steady as he holds onto your leg and gives you a moment to process what he’s said.</p><p>The moment stretches into something akin to uncomfortable, so Suga withdraws from you, leaning back in his seat so he can take another sip of his wine, “I’m not going to force you,” he says, nonchalant as he gazes over the top of his glassware at you, “and you know I’d never want to make you uncomfortable.”</p><p>You shake your head, “N-No, I know.”</p><p>Now you are the one chasing after him, hands buzzing in your lap as they beg to find purchase somewhere on his body – <em>anywhere</em>. You are practically salivating, your eyes drawn to his mesmerizing fingers as they flit about in the most mundane of ways, but somehow you’re able to morph those movements into something much more sensual.</p><p>Your thighs quiver, and you feel your walls flutter at the thought of what those pretty setter hands could really do.</p><p>“I need more wine,” Sugawara takes a deep breath before standing. He looks down at you, a smile on his features despite the awkwardness of the topic at hand, “Do you want me to get you another glass? Or do you need some water? I just-”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>.”</p><p>It is one word, a simple syllable, and yet it means a cacophony of things.</p><p>Before he can ask you what it is you’re agreeing to, you’re eye level with him, risen to your feet in record timing, “P-Please, Suga- <em>Koushi</em>,” you both shudder at the wanton quality of your voice, begging to shatter your chest with the need you feel pooling around your heart, “<em>Yes.</em>”</p><p>You hear the sound of the glass hitting the table but you don’t see his arm extend to push the stemware away from the both of you; your eyes are too focused, zeroed in on his face in order to be able to notice the slightest of changes in expression. His irises darken a shade, deep amber swirling around the inky pupil, “Yes, what?”</p><p><em>Where did that bravado from earlier go, </em>you want to ask him. <em>I need you to be strong in this moment, because I am weak. </em></p><p>Instead, you step forward, a palm against his chest, the other finding his hand hovering at his side. Every moment from your childhood leading up to this one makes your spine shake, your head spinning on the contact of your skin to his. You slip your fingers between his knuckles and you can’t help it when your breath hitches, “I want you,” and you pause because you need him to know the truth, even if you’re not quite ready to be honest just yet, “to make me feel good.”</p><p>Sugawara’s face falls slightly at the secondary admission, his throat bobbing at the sound of your voice. His hand rests on your hip, thumb slipping beneath the hem of your t-shirt that he suspects was one of his at some point in time. He is pensive, lost in thought as his gaze bores down into you, trying to read your soul like a novel.</p><p>“C’mere,” his voice is slow and sweet, just like caramel, dripping down your throat as you get too close to breathe. The bow of his lips brushes yours as he forms his syllables, the satisfied smirk from earlier returning when he notices your eyelids are barely able to stay open. Sugawara tilts his head, slipping one hand into your hair as the other guides itself to your abdomen beneath your shirt.</p><p>He takes advantage of the way your jaw hangs open to kiss your upper and lower lip separately, the newfound warmth of the kiss making your body preen forward until your chests are touching. He chuckles, pressing his lips chastely to the corner of your mouth, “I’m gonna take care of you, don’t worry. <em>Relax.</em>”</p><p>Every muscle in your body is wound tight, and Sugawara massages his thumbs against your neck and your lower back to try and dispel some of the tension. You shake your head, “S-Suga, I-I don’t-”</p><p>And suddenly you’re rendered speechless.</p><p>Sugawara’s mouth melds to yours and your eyelashes flutter shut, your body going pliant in his arms as you stutter step forward. You feel your pelvic bone brush against his and you moan at the bulge in his pants that stimulates your clit through the thin fabric of your flannel pajamas. Your hands cinch tighter around the front of his shirt, nails grazing him gently through the cotton.</p><p>“Relax,” the word echoes against your teeth as his palm slips beneath the band of your bottoms, his three middle-most fingers ghosting over your core with the simple flick of his wrist. You desperately want to cant your hips upward, to beg him to pay attention to your aching cunt, but your words are lost in your throat, clogged like that very bottle of wine the two of you shared earlier, a cork of temptation muddled with yearning lodged in your esophagus.</p><p>His arm is around your middle before you know what’s happening, and you’re being hoisted onto the countertop, legs dangling in midair, knees knocking against his hips as he tries to settle you. Your hands scrape and tug at his upper body, mind a fogged mess while you attempt to discern between up and down, left and right. Sugawara is ever the steady and reliable man that you’ve known your whole life, holding you securely while simultaneously causing you to unravel.</p><p>“K-Koushi,” you stammer, blinking up at him through thick lashes, your lower lip wobbling, “<em>please</em>.”</p><p>The whole world stops spinning for a mere moment, the both of you inhaling what little oxygen is left around your concentrated bubble of desire, and then you gasp when the pad of his thumb brushes back the hood of your clit, fingerprint finding that sensitive bundle of warm skin.</p><p>You are keening immediately, head dropping to his shoulder at the rush of ecstasy. There is no going back from this, you know. Sugawara has been your very best friend but somewhere in the many years you’ve spent following one another around, he became so much more than that. Your hand grips his bicep, the arm that is still securely wound around your midsection to keep you from falling back against the countertop, and you feel the gentle ripple of toned muscle and sinew at your touch.</p><p>“Come here, honey,” he’s beckoning you, and like a good girl, you listen. You shock yourself with your willingness. Your chin tilts upward and you’re meeting him more than halfway for a divine kiss that makes your heart cinch tightly beneath your ribs. You scramble to hold him tighter, a hand carding through his hair while the other wraps around the base of his neck, anchoring him to you with gentle force.</p><p>After a moment of attentive kisses, Suga begins to stir his thumb again, the ridges of his fingerprint giving you the most minute of stimulation as he circles the digit against your clit. You moan, the sound lost against the wet muscle of his tongue, your teeth clashing as he leans forward to try and consume you even further. A whimper titillates your throat and Sugawara uses the way your jaw hangs to his advantage, gently running his middle finger along your slickened folds until you can’t close your mouth.</p><p>Your maw falls even further slack and Suga chuckles, withdrawing from you to kiss down your jawbone. He hasn’t even pressed his fingers into you yet and you’re already a mess for him, practically drooling down your chin at the insinuation of what he’s going to do with his hands once he gets inside of you.</p><p>“You’re so pretty,” Sugawara is nudging the shell of your ear with his nose, licking at your lobe as he makes his way back down to your neck. His tone is sweet, innocent, and yet the insinuation behind each syllable is not lost on you. Shuddering at the contact, your hand in his hair twisting in his silver strands, but he pays no mind to the twinges of pain at his scalp, rather continuing to dote on you with praise, “And you’re so <em>wet</em>, sweetheart. I can’t wait to give this cute little cunt all the attention it deserves.”</p><p>“Y-Yeah!” You find yourself agreeing with him, your lips tugged into a pout as you buck up your hips in impatience. Sugawara laughs breathily, the warmth from his exhale spilled over your shoulder and down your spine. He tugs at the waistband of your pants, momentarily dragging your attention away from your throbbing core to shimmy out of your bottoms.</p><p>He is careful to leave enough of the fabric beneath you so that the cold countertop does not shock your backside and leave you seething. His hands are warm as they travel down your sides, one rested at the juncture of your hip and the other flitting across the top of your thigh until it is nestled between the apex of your lower half.</p><p>“Open up,” Sugawara kisses your cheek haphazardly, pressing the heel of his palm deeper into your thigh to pry your legs open, unwilling to let you grow shy now. Your body is compliant to his commands, no matter how gently he speaks, and the song of his words is like a siren’s tune, begging you to fall into the deep.</p><p>You do as told, forcing your knees apart so he can rest between them, a low mewl curling through your throat as his body heat radiates so closely to you. Your palm is against his chest, splayed out so you cover his entire pectoral, fingertips resting along the curve of his collarbone. There is an errant thought that if you force yourself to pay attention to anything other than the way Sugawara’s soft fingertip is circling your clit, you won’t come undone too quickly. Your body has never reacted this way to anyone, not even your own stimulation, and the idea of it all does little to quell the gentle rivulets of creamy white that beg to be released from your core.</p><p>Suga’s middle finger starts to drag along the outer lips of your pussy, gathering the slick on his digits as he prepares you to take his long, thick fingers. His hand on your hip squeezes, that saccharine sweet voice calling to you, “Look at me,” and you do, oh <em>you do</em>, but you’re not prepared to see the caramel irises staring intently down at you, soaking in every word like it were something prophetic when in reality it’s mere gibberish.</p><p>His voice is sincere when he speaks next, “C’mon, sweetheart, tell me what you want me to do, tell me what feels good.”</p><p>Your instincts tell you to beg him to fuck you with those slender setter hands that have not lost their touch over the years; to pin you down to this counter and make you cream all over his knuckles. The way your body curves upward for him, hips moving in circles against the air between you in such a desperate way, makes him smile.</p><p>And Sugawara is so <em>beautiful</em> when he smiles, gentle dimples carved out of his cheeks and a shimmer in his irises that turns them into amber gems, sparkling brightly even in the lowlight of the kitchen. You get lost in the shine for a moment, pupils dilating to seek out the sheer number of shades making up his unique coloring.</p><p>In this moment, with you so obviously wrapped deftly around his every finger, he can’t help but wonder if you’ve ever quivered like this when someone else has held you close. Do you always flutter your lashes like this when someone else traces your inner thigh with their pinky nail? Does your breath stutter so profusely when anyone else has slipped their hand beneath your shirt? Or do you reserve these petite moans and breathy shudders just for him? How long ago could he have suggested this to you and you would have listened? How much opportunity to bury himself in your heart has he missed?</p><p>“I-I want you to use your fingers, Koushi,” your voice is barely audible, on the verge of cracking, but somehow you manage to hold it together. It breaks him from his spiraling stupor, eyes blinking several times as if resetting himself. You nod, solidifying your statement, “P-Please, I want you to s-stuff me full of your fingers until I’m co-<em>o-oh</em>.”</p><p>Sugawara butterflies your cunt open with his middle-most finger, slipping knuckles deep into you until your head is lolling back at the pleasure of it. His hands are not immense, but his knuckles are prominent, and his fingers are long. You swear you can feel him in your spine as he begins to slowly pump his middle finger against your soft, velveteen insides. It is only one finger and yet you feel utterly full, your eyes crossing behind closed lids as you attempt to keep yourself sewn together purely out of spite. The last thing you want is for him to add this to the list of things he can poke fun at you about later – that no one in your life has been able to make you cream as quickly or as intensely as he has in a matter of moments.</p><p>He huffs, his breath blowing your hair from your face as your head hangs low, dangerously close to falling against his shoulder in a mess of limbs, “Like this, sweetheart? D’ya want me to add another o-”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,” your voice is a gravelly, eager whisper this time, fingers curled furiously around his shirt to bring him closer. You rest your temple against his cheek and scoot yourself further off the counter until he has to hold you in place or else you’ll fall, “<em>Please</em>, Kou, I need more of you.”</p><p>That comment has his cock stirring beneath his zipper, begging to be free so he can truly stuff you full. His fingers are nothing in comparison to the tent in his pants, and he wishes that he could introduce you to the way he could make you feel if he were using his full capacity. Rather than tug his trousers down, Sugawara adjusts the angle of his hand so he can work on pressing a second finger into your tight heat. Slick runs down the junctures of his fingers, until the wrinkles in his hands are coated in your arousal; your tight walls suck his finger between the muscles as soon as he breaches the front of your cunt, and it makes him chuckle again, the sound reverberating in your very core.</p><p>“Such a sloppy little cunt, baby,” Sugawara’s voice is borderline patronizing, but there is a kind edge to it that makes you blink twice. The pet name has your heart skipping a beat and you make a mental note that you want to hear him call you that again when his fingers aren’t buried in you and the two of you can talk this through without red wine coursing through your veins.</p><p>He curls his digits upward, brushing along the creamy insides as you flex your muscles against him, begging your body to release whatever build-up it has so you can beg him for more. Sugawara extends his thumb, deftly able to continue the pistoling pace of his fingers into your aching core while still showing attention to the bundle of nerves that usually goes neglected.</p><p>A kiss is placed to the top of your knee and you realize you’ve had your eyes closed for the last few moments, white-knuckling the countertop to keep yourself sat in place while his stellar fingers make quick work of your insides, spoiling your glutenous walls until you want to cry at the amount of arousal dripping onto the granite. Your lids peel back to see Sugawara on his knees, the warmth of his cheek pressing into your thigh as he dredges his fingers in and out of you. He chuckles at your bewildered expression, “You’re so wet for me, honey. Look at all this,” he accentuates the sentence by withdrawing from you, eliciting a whimper-turned-whine from the back of your throat, “Such a sloppy pussy, am I making you feel good?”</p><p>You are nodding, if only because you’re speechless otherwise. Your tongue is caught on your teeth, and you blame the ridges in your molars for your inability to speak. Sugawara laughs innocently, the corners of his eyes upturning as he smiles, “All this cream, just for me?”</p><p>When he pulls back and stands to his feet again, Sugawara spreads his fingers slowly, the silvery strands of slick creating thin webs between his knuckles, translucent and mocking of your earlier conversation. Your body clenches around nothing, a wet, suctioning sound coming from your core when his fingers are not buried back within you quickly enough to take up the space he was occupying just seconds before.</p><p>Sugawara’s palm that was previously rested on your thigh is now on your neck, thumb against your jugular almost in a warning way, pressuring but not uncomfortable. You swallow thickly, trying your hardest to keep your hips from bucking upward to meet his soaked fingers, “K-Koushi, please,” you hate begging him, hate seeming so pathetic, but he felt so good that you can’t help the way you whimper.</p><p>His eyes are trained in on you, your foreheads near touching as he leans in closely, crystalline eyes slipping closed at the sound of your heady breathing, “You’re so polite, darling, such a sweet little thing.”</p><p>You’re yanked to the edge of the countertop, forced to wrap your arms and legs around his body, and you’re so preoccupied with keeping yourself from plummeting to the tile floor that you hardly register his middle and fourth finger spearing into your pussy simultaneously. Sugawara stills himself, but you can still feel the searing print of his digits against your plush inner walls, his growling timbre making your cunt flutter around his knuckles, “I can’t wait to ruin you.”</p><p>“K-Kou,” your lower lip juts outward, your temple rubbing against his cheek for some sort of friction since he is holding you down to the counter with his opposite hand, disallowing you from any type of relief from his fingers. Swallowing, you rest your hands on his shoulders, effectively grounding yourself to him, blinking slowly as you look upward so you can see him out of the corner of your eye that is closest to his temple, lashes fluttering against his skin.</p><p>Sugawara turns his head just enough to kiss your cheek, “Relax, love,” and then he kisses your temple, effectively shuttering your eyes closed from the contact, “You’re so tense.” He dips his chin downward to place a kiss to your knuckles, paled in color against his skin as you tear your fingernails into his shoulder. His tongue peeks out from between his lips, swiping across the crease of your knuckle and dipping along the curve of your fingers.</p><p>If this action was to help derail your tense nature, it does nothing of the sort. Rather, your entire body goes rigid, jaw dropping as a garbled moan pours from your tongue to his shoulder. His name is a prayer in your throat, repetitive and begging as the wet muscle circles your knuckles down to the tip of your fingers. You whine, rolling your hips against his stagnant fingers in an attempt to match the pace of his tongue, but fail when he does not shift his palm closer.</p><p>“Eager?” Sugawara is taunting you now, kissing the top of your knuckle before suckle your entire index finger between his gums, using his tongue to lap at the digit and you swear he might go so far as to suck a hickey onto the thin skin.</p><p>Once he begins to move, curling and pumping those skilled fingers, your jaw hangs open and your mouth finds purchase along the curve of his neck. You whine loudly, squeezing your eyes shut as the stimulation makes your vision blur, both his knuckles and his mouth salaciously working against your wanton, begging body.</p><p>If he notices the thin string of drool that dribbles from your mouth onto his collarbone and shirt, he does not reprimand you for it.</p><p>“What got you this wet, huh?” Sugawara’s voice is on the precipice of patronizing, leering up at you from where he has your middle finger caught between his teeth. He begins dipping back and forth from your inner heat to your clit, using your arousal to coat your outer lips until you’re shivering.</p><p>Your hips cant forward and you are dripping sin when you whisper, “You, Koushi. <em>Only you</em>.”</p><p>That confession shocks him, stilling his fingers involuntarily. You whine on impulse, blissed out and beckoning for more when your hips gyrate and his name falls in broken syllables from your teeth. Sugawara shakes his head, forcing the thought to the side as he focuses on your pleasure, twisting his knuckles against the fleshy insides of your core to elicit more of your arousal to drip down the insides of his hand.</p><p>“Yeah?” he continues to ride the high of your honesty, jaw shuddering when he speaks next, “What’re you thinking about, baby?”</p><p>A gasp from your pretty mouth leaves a warm patch against his throat, your eyes rolling back when his middle finger hits a harmonious spot within your heat, “Y-You, Koushi,” and before he can ask you to elaborate, your teeth chatter and you squeal, “Your mouth, <em>oh god</em>, and your tongue and y-your,” you turn into a babbling mess and he wishes he could decipher your every word, but he loves the way you drool between syllables.</p><p>“My what?” Sugawara asks. You can hear the gentle edging in his tone, the begging you to fall apart so he can put you back together, as if he knows what you’re going to say but wants to hear the letters form in your dialect. He kisses your wrist and then uses his hand that was previously on your hip to tilt your chin upward, forcing your gaze to meet his.</p><p>There are tears in your eyes, from the stimulation of his fingers or his mouth or his words, he’s not sure. Nonetheless, you are prettier than a picture, begging to be broken; sharp, jagged edges exposed and willing to shred him limb from limb. Sugawara is enraptured by your beauty with each passing breath, amber eyes tracking the way your lower lip trembles and your throat bobs at the proximity of him to you.</p><p>Every rise and fall of his chest signals another passing of his fingers, dragging slowly back out of your velveteen insides, only to piston forward until you can feel him in your womb, a wave of pleasure sending a jolt up your spinal cord until you feel your throat constricting. Your head rolls and your eyes slip closed involuntarily, lashes fluttering when you clamp your cunt around his fingers, pleading with him not to abandon your aching core by sucking him back before he even has the chance to leave.</p><p>Sugawara kisses your throat, bare and tilted, practically chanting to be marked by his teeth and tongue. He lavishes your jugular with a warm lick, blowing against the shining skin directly after. Your shoulders shake and you whimper, your knees knocking as you try to close yourself off from him, begging for relief.</p><p>Or something <em>more</em>.</p><p>“You’re so precious, honey,” the words pass through the thin space of his teeth without forethought, and he truly doesn’t give them much of a thought afterward, either. Honesty has always been Sugawara Koushi’s nature, regardless of tact. He noses the juncture of your throat, breathing slowly down your spine and watching closely as you shudder, “Absolutely adorable, you know?”</p><p>It’s a rhetorical question, your subservient mind prays. There is no cognitive thought remaining to rattle around inside of your head, only an empty skull and baby doll eyes, pinkened tongue poking out of your lips as you try to turn to look at him. Your nose finds his and you manage to drag one arm upward until you are latched onto him at the shoulders, curling the ends of your fingers into the wisps of silver hair that grace the curve of his neck. Sugawara shivers and you are barely able to acknowledge it before he’s working your walls with the thick of his digits, adjusting the pace of his thrusts in time with the way that makes you moan the loudest.</p><p>“K-Kou,” the stutter breaks the air of quiet, “I-I think-”</p><p>But he already knows, regardless of the way your sentence breaks into partial sounds. He can feel your gummy insides pulling his fingers in by the knuckle, begging for more in the way you clamp down around his digits. Sugawara refocuses the attention of his thumb on your clit, throbbing and sensitive from clawing to the precipice of pleasure for too long, “I know, honey, I know.”</p><p>Your eyes cross when you try to speak again, thinking too hard for too long about what you want to say, how you want to tell him what is going on inside the walls of your mind. As if Sugawara can sense your gears churning, he hushes you, guiding his body closer to yours to narrow the space you have between your chest and his shoulders. You grip at him relentlessly, digging in until there are crescent moons left on his galactic shoulders, accented by the freckled stardust painted on his back. You want to memorize every constellation until you are as blue as the daylight, words of praise tumbling across your teeth incoherently.</p><p>A soft kiss is placed on your cheek, Sugawara’s endless grace washing over you like the calm before a storm, “Relax,” he reminds you with his cloudlike speech, words floating down from your lips to your core, rolling like thunder and lightning, sparking at the base of your spine, “let me take care of you.”</p><p>You’ve never been to this astral plane before, never felt this <em>good</em>. Partner after partner, always unsatisfied, and then in walks Sugawara Koushi to prove them all inadequate. Should you have expected anything less of him?</p><p>Sugawara has always been a shadow by your side; you don’t remember a time before him, and you surely do not want to imagine a time after. Your flighty brain muses for a moment that this might be exactly what you needed to push your stubborn toes forward, dipping into the concrete thought of what it would be like to genuinely have him around forever. You’d never considered before that you’d have to be absent of him, despite the both of you being in multiple relationships during your friendship, you always imagined that it would be the both of you against every facet of the world, taking on the fight and battling dragons until you can’t breathe.</p><p>But now, with his fingers buried deep into your heat, tears on your cheeks, and an impending orgasm bottled up within you like a volcano, you know that everything will change once you’ve washed his hand in white and returned back to earth.</p><p>The audacity of this preposterously wonderful man to be within your reach and yet out of your grasp for years has your heart aching and your toes curling, but you don’t have much time to consider it before he’s churning your innermost parts in ways you’d only dreamt about with your eyes screwed shut and your fantasies run wild. You are unsure of how gravity works, the world spinning to turn your ups into downs and your sides are crossed, but all you can focus on is the way your warm walls spasm around his lithe fingers.</p><p>“Almost there, yeah?”</p><p>Again, a rhetorical question.</p><p>Sugawara does not pull his hand away from you, instead becoming more intentional with each pass of his knuckles along your gushing pink core. He sighs and the warmth of his breath makes your skin prickle, “Let go, sweetheart. Let it all go.”</p><p>His permission pushes you over the edge, your body begging for release until it is satisfied. Your head falls backward and his lips find the vein on your throat, licking and kissing as your thighs try to suffocate his forearm. You feel his elbow against your knees but he does not chastise you as you writhe against the countertop. Your hands are everywhere, so quick and twitchy that you’re not sure what part of him you’ve found purchase on.</p><p>Vaguely, in the haze of your wound-up pleasure, you hear him murmur, “That’s it, that’s my girl,” along the curve of your jaw. Your lips bubble with all of the words that you want to say, but none of the languages you speak are coming out coherently. He chuckles at your babbling phrases, holding you around the waist with the arm that isn’t wedged between your supple thighs.</p><p>“S-Suga,” you whisper, almost begging him to ignore your quiet call.</p><p>“I’m right here,” he answers, ever-present and attentive as always, breath washing over the shell of your ear as he nips at the lobe, “are you okay?”</p><p>Your head lolls forward until you find his shoulder, wrapping your arms tightly around his back as your cunt pulses around his two fingers, unfamiliar with the emphatic pleasure brought on by the offending digits. You suck in a breath, “Y-Yeah, I-I’m okay.” And then he peels his digits from the apex of your hips and you’re left feeling empty, a frigid sort of loneliness that you hadn’t expected when you first opened that bottle of wine over dinner.</p><p>The both of you bask in one another as you step slowly back to earth; the rise and fall of your chest, the labored breaths that are stolen from your lungs, and you’re almost frightened to pull away and have to look into those warm amber eyes that have captured you since you first learned to walk. You are reminded yet again, by his heavy presence, that Sugawara is the one constant in your life. You pray that he can continue to be such a thing, however selfish that want may be.</p><p>After much deliberation, you choose to make light of the situation. You push past the looming fog in your brain pleading with you to stay under his haze for just a moment longer in favor of chuckling breathlessly, “Wow, well, uh-”</p><p>His mouth is against yours without hesitation. The clean hand he sports is wound into your hair, angling your head so he can make the most of this gifted chance he’s been given. Your lips go slack and he runs his tongue along the curves of your gums before stepping back, head downturned when he rubs his lips together.</p><p>You can sense the way his thoughts are overwhelming him; how he is overthinking every touch, every hitched breath, every stutter of your hips as you begged him for more. Here he is, your ever predictable Koushi.</p><p>“If it weren’t for my legs turned to jelly, I’d stand,” you tell him, praying that the jest in your tone will brighten his spirit. A half-hearted chuckle makes his shoulders shake, and you reach out to grasp him by the sleeve, “Will you help me down, Koushi?”</p><p>Your needs come before his doubts and he steps closer to you, allowing you to push and tug on whatever part of him that you need in order to find your feet back against the tile floor. You cling to his shoulders and he basks in it, begging for this moment to last longer than a second so he can imprint it on the backs of his eyelids to replay it when he feels like you don’t need him any longer. His hands find your elbows to steady you, and your fists wrap tightly around the front of his shirt to hold yourself upright.</p><p>There is silence, which is uncharacteristic for the two of you. However, everything from the past hour has been nothing but uncharacteristic. You try not to take offense to the way his eyes have dulled now that reality has shattered whatever scene you were sharing minutes prior.</p><p>“I love you,” you tell him, the words taking on a different lilt when you say them now, under these pretenses.</p><p>Sugawara tilts his head, that warm wash of brown bringing you back home, “I love you too, honey.”</p><p>His implications are different than yours, and you’re reminded of all those times Daichi had to tell Koushi to pull his head out of his ass and focus on the game rather than all of the little details that went into it. You laugh under the wind of your own breath and nudge your nose against his cheek, the ghost of a kiss pressed to the corner of his mouth, gone as quickly as it has come.</p><p>“No, no, Suga. I don’t think you understand.” You tilt your thumb beneath his chin and push yourself up on your toes so you are but a hairsbreadth away, your voice now a whisper at your proximity to him, “I love you <em>more</em>.”</p><p>Bouncing the phrase back and forth is not something foreign to either of you; one upping each other with words like <em>more </em>and <em>most</em> are single syllables that mean war. This very fact is the reason why Sugawara does not hesitate to murmur, “I love you most,” against the bow of your lips.</p><p>Only, this time, the depth behind the phrase means so much <em>more</em>.</p><p><em>More, more, more</em>.</p><p>Until your clothes are on the floor and he is buried to the hilt within your tight heat, whispering how he thinks the two of you are halves of a whole, soulmates finally brought together by a crisis. Sugawara tells you how much he loves you in your ear but you cannot make sense of the syllables because of the stars clouding your vision and the stratosphere strung between your ears as you float somewhere between this world and the next.</p><p>And you have always known that he is the most predictably unpredictable person you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Which is why, when he whispers, slow and deep to accentuate each roll of his hips, “I love you, more than anything. I promise I’ll be gentle...”</p><p>Your soul shatters at the sound, and yet you would never have expected anything less of him.</p>
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